I started today with some household chores, enjoying my time off, watching the cat enjoy the balcony on a lazy Sunday. As I mopped the floor with our new lovely mop, I was thinking about money, and my main money block – savings. To put you in the picture, when I started EFT tapping in February 2004, the EFT helped me to stay alive from one day to the next, to survive with a roof over my head, and to patch up relations with my loved ones who had suffered greatly with me. Saving money was very low priority, as mere survival was taking up too much of my energy. Now, I am physically better, I am working on healing one thing that went very much wrong in my life after falling ill – money.
As I was mopping, I remembered a vague memory. As a young child, I was saving spare pocket money in my piggy bank. My uncle, who was in the position of a father to me since he died, asked me for that money. He was using all his powers of persuasion (almost begging me), and I remember that the rest of the family came along and persuaded me to hand it over. The final thing they said which persuaded me was that my uncle would give me, when I became 18, a family piece of land that I loved. I believed him. When I became 18, that land was never mine, and upon his death, it was never mine. Now as an adult, I realize that he must have had some huge bill to pay and been desperate for money. My uncle, a real simpleton when it came to handling money, and someone whose mistakes I vowed I would learn from, earned good money and yet never really had anything to show for it. I had vowed not to repeat that pattern in myself, despite illness, but illness takes all your money. however, I am no longer that very sick person, but I still have a problem with savings. As I think of the piggy-bank incident now (which, by the way, was a forgotten memory till recently), I get a 7 out of 10.
¨Even though he took my piggy bank money, I´m still a good kid¨ (I am deep in that memory now)
¨He took my piggy bank money¨
¨Even though I became 18 and there was no land, I deeply love and accept myself. I forgive myself for believing him, I was only a kid.¨
¨I should have kept my savings a secret. I was a fool. I didn´t protect my savings.¨
Now tapping as I imagine the alternative scenario of putting my money in corners or in the attic behind something no-one would see. I am back there as a child, in my mind, repairing this memory. In the new memory, I am not saving in vain. In the new memory, I never even get to know about this big bill or whatever my uncle desperately needed this money for. In the new memory, I am not promised this beautiful land, and I never aspire to live on it one day. I just save and save, so that I will have this money available when needed. I have a good habit that I protect from the weak uncle with false promises. I am strong.
¨I forgive him anyway. He showed me how not to be a fool. Although logically I learned it, I now energetically learn it too. I now want to be a regular saver.¨
The event is a zero. Not getting the land is a long story. I had thought that because I had broken off with family members when I thought they abandoned me as I became ill (long story), that my name was removed from any will to do with it. Now, I realize that my uncle regularly lied, exaggerated, and promised to people that he tried to make deals with, because he did not know how to negotiate. He just did the same with me, not realizing that I would grow up every day looking forward to being given that land, that in my mind I would every day dream of the house that I would build there, how I was going to take my child to school driving up the steep hill that led to it, how I would set up my work there, how I would grow my family there. I even dreamed to setting up an eco-community on the site. I had great plans, and of course my uncle did not imagine I would even remember his promise. The loss of that land, which my uncle never really meant to give me, still hurts. It´s something like a 3 out of 10, as I had tapped on other aspects before.
¨Even though I saved up for it but lost the land of my dreams anyway, I deeply love and accept myself¨
¨I saved up for it but lost the land of my dreams anyway¨
I thought the event was zero. Then I closed my eyes and in my mind heard the beautiful howls of the wolves at the bottom of the valley, and fresh tears are coming to my eyes.
¨Even though I´ll never hear the sound of the wolves from my land…¨
Now I smell the pine trees and cry…
¨Even though I´ll never enjoy those pine trees there, I don´t mind, I can have pine trees in my new home that I am planning for – at least as a bonsai if planning permission is not granted.¨
It feels almost a zero now. I am tired tapping – been tapping for an hour or so. I feel very peaceful.
When you have a chronic physical condition, anything that either emotionally or physically has a negative impact on you can make the condition worse. EFT is one way of throwing away the emotional rubbish collecting in your system. In the same way that we dispose of our household rubbish regularly for home cleanliness and hygiene, I use EFT to dispose of negative emotions for my optimal physical health. I call an emotion anything that your mind or body says to you, from fear to constricted airways. My health was not always as good as this. Please go back to around 2005 on this blog to get to the worst postings (when I was often bed-ridden, unable to breathe enough to get out of bed), if you are looking for how to tap for those really bad days of health.
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