Dream and Fighting

I have just woken up from a dream. Although in the dream I was happily resigned to my fate, I woke up feeling I have had a nightmare. In the dream, I had given up on my spouse going out with me, so I had dressed up to go out on my own.

As soon as I woke up, feeling unhappy, I realized what the dream was about. I had worked really hard, building up my business, purchasing carefully, advertising cleverly, opening up to new possibilities, with a goal in mind, that of getting my spouse a personal trainer again. In the UK, we had a personal trainer for a while, and he was very good. Then he left to form his own gym and then I found out my spouse’s settlement for the injury sustained was not going to even cover the debts we had gotten into for recovery from just the injury, and shelved it. But my spouse has severe ADHD and is usually incapable of motivation to go to the gym. We have tapped on this, and it started improving, and then I got this personal trainer who specializes in injury and had so much hope placed on him. But he was just like any other average personal trainer in the end, and he declined the work, too scared to cause further injury. He said that swimming was OK but “I would get bored just supervising you swimming up and down for 45 minutes”. I am now finally crying. How dare he turn down good business because it is boring to him? How did he make the decision to ruin one very good chance we had, just because it was “boring” to him? I feel devastated. I must have felt very upset, because for the past week, I have been taking it out on my spouse, exploding with anger at the slightest thing, totally unnecessarily, and I didn’t know why. Tapping on the events directly has not been helping. Now I know why. So I am tapping as I write this, and crying tears of bitter disappointment.

As a result, the advertisement I had thought not to place, I will now place. I must have been put off it because of the thought that if I make the money, there is no point, I will not be able to buy what we need.

I now know that this is a lazy personal trainer that despite being caring and professional, is not as caring as I am when it comes to my clients. I never turn anyone down if I think their treatment will “bore” me. I simply find a way to make it interesting. After all, I may be the last person they approach or have been referred to, and if I don’t accept to help them, they are at risk of either losing their life or the quality of their life, and I would never do that to anyone.

I’m still tapping as I write. Now the nightmare which shocked me into awakening is down to a 4 out of 10.

Actually, the trainer did say that if we got (yet another) MRI done and some blood tests, he is willing to re-consider the case. So now we are aiming at the goal of having the MRI and blood test. Blood test first. Then I have to check the MRI procedures, as I have received bad news in my email about one particular thing that is used in some MRI examinations. All will cost money, as this is a pre-existing condition, and medical insurance for anything other than emergency care is way beyond our means, because of the previous illnesses.

Tapping as I write, I now have a two. I realize that when I make all the money we need (by next month), it will not be wasted. If he still says no, you are too boring to work with, I’ll just remain on the lookout for someone better. we’ll find someone eventually. Or maybe we can just keep tapping for motivation, and maybe that is all we need!

Reminder (no Setup):
“This nightmare, this personal trainer”

Down to 1 for nightmare, 6 and 4 (both) for personal trainer.

Setup:
“Even though I have this [his name] feeling, I deeply…”
Reminder:
“[His name]”

All 0.

Peace.

When you have a chronic physical condition, anything that either emotionally or physically has a negative impact on you can make the condition worse. EFT is one way of throwing away the emotional rubbish collecting in your system. In the same way that we dispose of our household rubbish regularly for home cleanliness and hygiene, I use EFT to dispose of negative emotions for my optimal physical health. – Therapists-to-be, See how I made it as a full time practitioner against all odds

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